Tuesday, February 10, 2009
When School Happens
I swear I can hardly recall the way my bedroom looks in daylight.
godknowswho. ♥
10:06 AM
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Saturday, January 31, 2009
Epilogue - Retirement
On Thursday I attended the last Math, Physics, Chemistry and Biology classes I will ever have.
The sciences have been a mindfuck, except not at all pleasant or enjoyable. Which is primarily the distinction between an orgy, and gang rape.
If I may say so myself, for a former triple science student I'm just not the sentimental sort.
godknowswho. ♥
7:06 PM
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Monday, January 26, 2009
It seems to me that the Chinese were cursed by their ancestors with the ability to concoct a tea from any organic material on or under the surface of this Earth?
I mean, surviving the Great Leap Forward isn't much of an excuse to flavour your water with any available decomposing matter.
The Chinese find it convenient to submerge questionable substances in hot water because it negates the necessity to differentiate between edible and inedible. It also provides a very handy excuse for water pollution and high infant mortality.
Yes, in a socialist state, survival is an acquired taste.
godknowswho. ♥
4:15 AM
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Sunday, January 25, 2009
Looking To Hire Relatives
Prerequisite: Chinese
Preferences: Affluent, Generous
Employee Benefits: PR Status
So i suspect both my parents previously possessed abundant stores of relatives, but all their Chinese possessions were confiscated after they individually committed Intermarriage (classified under "Crimes of Passion").
godknowswho. ♥
3:52 AM
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Monday, January 19, 2009
More Than Just The Customary Cute-Guy Collage
godknowswho. ♥
9:15 AM
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"Do you know how. . . annoying, and. . . disturbing. . . it is?" growled the Discipline Master, grinding his teeth and flexing his neck under the exertion of generating two adjectives.
Dude if you're going to transform into the Incredible Hulk at least let me get my Iron Man suit, or else lose the theatrics.
. . . Cos you really look alot more like a Ninja Turtle?
godknowswho. ♥
6:35 AM
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Sunday, January 18, 2009
Being unable to climb onto a weighing machine without suffering cardiac arrest and being put on an artificial respirator is possibly, in the majority of cases, a sign of being unfit.
Being able to wear a hwachong uniform, as purchased from the school bookshop, and still look perfectly fine, is a clinically diagnosed symptom of being fucking obese.
For a school with an unwanted reputation for student pregnancies, it's curious that students wearing their uniform cannot help but resemble post-natal ladies wearing stretch marks.
godknowswho. ♥
8:10 AM
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Friday, January 16, 2009
You enter a room to face three women - the one to the left is stern and obese, the one on the right is pubescent and has hair shorter than you, and the one in the centre is elderly, probably a prehistoric artefact belonging in a glass casing.
A more fortunate being might just have stepped into the opening scene of Macbeth. My soul must be cursed, then, that i found myself facing my Humanities Scholarship interviewers.
Interviewer: "I find it interesting that your Integrated Mathematics grade is an. . . F9. Maybe you'd like to justify that?"
Me, between ten second intervals of flexing my eyebrows: ". . . Novelty. . . You can't justify novelty."
By all appearances, my future is alot darker than Macbeth's.
godknowswho. ♥
8:52 PM
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Very often I commit myself to certain things only because i clearly don't have the time for them.
A case in point:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle.
2. For each question, use the title of the next song to get your answer.
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?Happiness Is A Warm Gun - The Beatles
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?I Wish I Was James Bond - Scouting For Girls
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?Right Me Up - State Radio
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?The Scientist - Coldplay
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?Boys In The Band - The Libertines
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?Passerby - Dispatch
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?Sex On Fire - Kings of Leon
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?Handlebars - Flobots
WHAT IS 2+2?Two Coins - Dispatch
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?Where Does The Good Go - Tegan and Sara
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?Did You Get My Message - Jason Mraz
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?Business Time - Flight of the Conchords
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?Fidelity - Rilo Kiley
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?Summercat - Billie the Vision and the Dancers
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?Toothpaste Kisses - The Maccabbees
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?You Only Live Once - The Strokes
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?Not About Love - Fiona Apple
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?Let's Dance To Joy Division - The Wombats
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?Nobody - Wonder Girls
WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys
HOW WILL YOU DIE?Electric Feel - MGMT
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?I'm Good, I'm Gone - Lykke Li
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?Hide And Seek - Imogen Heap
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?The Party's Crashing Us - Of Montreal
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?Wannabe - Spice Girls
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?Littlest Things - Lily Allen
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?Naive - The Kooks
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?Control - Metro Station
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?Tiny Dancer - Elton John
godknowswho. ♥
8:45 PM
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